Today is a significant day for all Americans, AND everyone in the World. What I’m about to say about this might surprise you.
This morning when I prayed for peace and honored those we lost, I included everyone, including those who took their own lives to make a statement. Not just the men and women who chose to be heroes, I’m talking about the men who chose to be the pilots.
I sent love and peace to the men who had so much hurt and fear in their hearts that they planned their death for years. These men were human beings too, and even though they may have shown the World they wanted people to suffer, it was because they were suffering the most.
Who volunteers to die? Who says, “Choose me, I want to die and make others feel the pain of what I feel”? That’s a lot of pain to be carrying around. It’s those people who we need to love the most. To let them know they are not alone in this world and that they can choose otherwise.
Again, this is a mirror for many other situations happening in the world. For example, Suicide Bombers. What little boy or girl says that when they grow up they want to strap a bomb to their body to prove a point?
Most people want to either, not die or die a quick death. Fear plays a major role in either scenario. And how many times has fear kept you from living the life you want?
It really does come down to love. Loving yourself to know you deserve the best life has to offer, and loving others so they can experience the same.
For all the people who think that justice is served by hurting those who hurt us, think again. Yes, karma has its ways, and let the Divine handle that. When you take matters into your own hands, you are inviting hurt to come back to you, again.
So I sense that while there are many people reliving this day by grieving, there are also many who are very angry and maybe even plotting, or cursing those who hurt them. I ask that when you send peace and love to your loved ones, that you send peace and love to everyone, including yourself. Forgive yourself for any harmful and hurtful feelings or thoughts you’ve had towards yourself and others. Ask that our World learns how to love one another and be at peace with one another, NOW.
We all deserve to live, to be here and to enjoy our time while here. Let’s find ways to enjoy it together, to celebrate together and be a family filled with unconditional love and acceptance.
Blessings to you, your loved ones and to our unborn children about to enter this world.
“Is that a bruise on your leg? Does it hurt?” asked the Nail technician as I was receiving a pedicure. I responded, “No, it’s a vein. I’ve had it there all my life.”
I felt good about saying that.
I remember a time when having that vein-like bruise caused me shame. In fact, I was embarrassed to wear shorts and skirts until about 2011.
My legs have been a huge source of insecurity for me all my life. I’ve had spider and reticular veins in my legs for as long as I can remember. I’ve also had a cyst in one thigh since I was 15. And, in terms of muscle tone, I have to work the hardest on my legs to maintain their strength. I joined the track team in high school mostly because I wanted toned legs and sexy calves. (I liked to run too, but I mostly wanted strong, firm legs.)
Many times during my youth I wished for “perfect” legs. In terms of solutions, all they had during that time was a leg cream that was like a concealer. But it was never an even application and had to be reapplied every day. I also went to the doctor to have my cyst removed, but was told it would leave a scoop in my leg, like scooping out a ball of melon. Rather than risk more embarrassment, I chose to leave it. It’s benign anyway, so the only people I’ve had to explain this weird bump on my leg was with massage therapists or if I became intimate. And yes, that caused a lot of insecurity for me in the area of being intimate.
For some reason though, I never felt to get surgery, or laser treatments when there was a solution for unsightly leg veins. There were many times I’d pass by the offices that advertised that my legs could look beautiful, and still, as insecure as I was, I could never bring myself to make an appointment. I dreamed of a day when I would feel comfortable enough in my own body, just as it was, to show off my legs and be proud.
Thankfully, that day came when I moved to Maui and began strength training. I didn’t actually wear shorts until I felt my legs were “tight” enough to be exposed. What that meant for me was that there was little to no cellulite, and they felt firm. They didn’t need to be rock-solid, just smooth and toned. So, it wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I began wearing shorts, skirts and felt sexy. (Crazy, right?) And, with this new found freedom, I also didn’t care about the veins in my legs. I didn’t care who saw what, if it made them uncomfortable or embarrassed for me. I was good. It was a miracle!
The true miracle though, was that day with the nail technician. Why? Because on that day, I was not in my prime “tight” shape. I trained for a while, and then I became very busy with work and I couldn’t do it all. I didn’t have the energy to train as hard, or as much, and my legs were the first to change. So even though my legs were not “perfect” by the media standards, I didn’t care. I rocked what my momma gave me (in some short shorts too) and knew and felt that I was STILL beautiful. Veins, cellulite, a little jiggle when I wiggled, I let it all hang out.
But why would I have to fear or be insecure about my body in the first place? In my last post titled “#Mirror“, I addressed how many people scorned Miley Cyrus’ performance at the MTV VMA’s. It’s not the first time the media has gone ballistic over what a woman has worn, or not worn in a performance. And sadly, much of our world seems to think that what the Media says, is the “truth.” But how many times does the media scorn a man and how he looks? It’s rare. So we have a bunch of copycats, and misguided young people (who become misguided adults) who don’t know how to think for themselves, or honor themselves and understand that they are beautiful, regardless of what they see in magazines or on the news. It’s sad.
Do you remember back in the day when full-figured women were the predominant images portrayed by painters? A woman just as she was, au-natural, was beautiful, and was considered art. I have learned over the years that men love a confident woman. Period. Rock those lumps, bumps, curves, and everything your momma gave you and trust me, there will be men, (and women) who will find you sexy. It’s not about what the Media finds sexy, it’s what you hold as the truth for yourself.
Additionally, I would like to say that eating healthy and exercising has contributed to me feeling good in my body. I now choose exercises that are in resonance with what my body needs on a whole, rather than choosing to exercise from a place of insecurity.
So as I am a work in progress, so is much of the World. After all, we are a reflection of one another. And isn’t it time we (all) felt good about ourselves? Just as we are? Appreciative of one another and knowing that we are good enough, worthy enough and attractive without having to alter ourselves using non-natural methods? I pray and dream of that day. Do you?
‘Til next time, thanks for reading, and yes, YOU are beautiful.
I waited for the hype to calm down. I waited for people’s anger to simmer. All the while I’ve been boiling under the surface.
I’m gonna go there. Go where you ask? Miley Cyrus’ performance at the MTV VMA’s.
Y’all were so quick to hate on her, point out the absurdity of her performance, judge her and question her life choices.
Well, I’m here to hold up a mirror and let you know, she is a reflection of us. All of us. You can deny it all you want, but we are all connected and we are ALL responsible for our actions, comments, choices and how we treat one another.
Do you really think it was all Miley’s idea to put on that performance? Was it spontaneous, like improv? Do you really think MTV said, “just do whatever you want”? There were many people involved in the production of that performance and I didn’t see MTV blur anything out or cut to commercial. Did you?
I actually waited a few days before I watched the performance. The insanity of commentary on the subject was enough for me to want to stay away, but then I really wanted to know why people felt they had a right to barrage and berate her the way they did. Whatever you hate about her and her performance, somewhere deep down inside, or even on the surface, you hate about yourself. Maybe you hate how you haven’t taken responsibility in your own life for your own choices. Maybe you hate some of the mistakes you’ve made in your life and never forgave yourself for them. Maybe you hate that as a society we have allowed and contributed to have young women believe they are sexual objects. Maybe you hate the way you judge yourself so in order to feel better you feel you deserve to judge others. Whatever the reason, if you chose to participate (and are still participating) in criticizing, belittling or judging your brothers and sisters, you are doing that to yourself as well. And don’t you deserve more? Don’t WE deserve more?
This situation is a mirror for many other similar controversies we are all dealing with right now. I specifically get peeved when I see someone who enthusiastically rallied for President Obama to take office and then turn their back on him the moment he makes a choice that is dissatisfactory, in their eyes. Wouldn’t it be great if one man could solve all the problems of the world, without any of us doing work to support him? It’s like how the nominees needed a team to help them become visible and known. They needed a team to support them. Once a candidate is elected, what happens to the team? It would be nice if the people who voted for the candidate who won, became the team. One man (or woman) cannot do everything alone. We all must work together and show him how we are working WITH him, supporting him, and similarly working with our peers in our own communities. I’d love to know how many folks outside of those who have been elected actually know what it is like to be President? Does anyone ever take a moment and put themselves in the other person’s shoes? You have no idea what that kind of responsibility could possibly look like if you are unwilling to take responsibility for your own life and how your choices also create an outward trend. Are you making choices in your life that resemble the types of choices you would like to see the President make? If you’re not, you can be responsible for contributing to everything we are experiencing right now.
We all came here for a purpose, and in some way, to be of service to one another. Life can be a series of positive momentous occasions, if we choose that.
Why do you think movies tend to end on a high note? Or that in some way, there’s almost always a love/relationship storyline? It’s because we like to feel good. It’s because we all want love and to be loved.
So start by showing yourself some love. Go and do something that you’re passionate about, that makes you feel good. Step up for what you believe in, in a loving way. Start to become a reflection of what you would like to see in the world. Become your own best friend, your own hero, your best supporter.
Be proud of your mirror.
‘Til next time, thank you for reading.